Rape survivor attacked by boyfriend sends powerful message to women assaulted by partners
A rape survivor who was attacked by her boyfriend has sent a powerful message to other women who have been sexually assaulted by their partners.
Ellie Wilson was raped by Daniel McFarlane, 24, while she was in a relationship with him. He was convicted and jailed for five years in July 2022 after Ellie recorded him admitting to his crimes.
The 26-year-old campaigner has now issued a call to break the stigma around relationship rape.
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Ellie, who has bravely waived her right to anonymity, wants to stamp out assumptions that it is a "lesser" crime and said she has been contacted by countless women who have shared their own experiences of sexual violence at the hands of a partner.
She said: "People often think rape involves a stranger in the dark, but we know from the stats that a high number of sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim and in almost half of cases, it is a partner.
"Women are hesitant to report rape in a relationship because they might feel they won't be believed, or that it may not be regarded as rape because it is a partner.
"Sometimes they can even feel love towards their attacker.
"But rape in a relationship is still rape.
"My boyfriend raped me when I had just come out of hospital, while I cried, while I screamed and while I was unconscious.
"It took me a long time to report the crime because I felt loyal to him and I didn’t want to get him in trouble.
"When you are raped by someone you know or love, you become scared of all the places you once felt safe - your home, your family, your friends, the list goes on.
"It can cause more psychological and emotional impact when you are in a relationship with your attacker. It is not any lesser a crime.
“It does not matter if you’ve had sex with that person before - consent is the issue."
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The Office of National Statistics state that over 85% of sexual assaults reported are perpetrated by people who are known to the victim. Figures compiled by Rape Crisis Scotland found more than four in ten sexual assaults are committed by a partner or ex-partner.
Ellie took to Twitter to share her plea for other young women to speak out on relationship rape.
One woman told how she was traumatised when a family member told her her attack wasn't “as bad” because her rapist was her boyfriend.
Another, who was held down and raped in her own bed, said: "I’ve been told by people that this wasn’t ‘real’ rape because I knew him and that I should have expected what he did."
Ellie has commended the survivors for their bravery in coming forward.
She continued: "It is disturbing to think that anyone believes a man is entitled to their partner's body, regardless of whether or not they have consented.
"It is heartening to hear people speaking out. It is the only way we will create change.
"It’s time to break the silence on this awful crime. I would encourage anyone to seek justice."
A spokesperson for Rape Crisis Scotland said: “We know from our work with survivors that perpetrators are very often people who are known to them. This can make reporting or even disclosing experiences of sexual violence even more difficult and cause real anxiety and distress about the impact doing so could have on other relationships.
“Sexual violence that takes place within relationships is a serious crime with an impact on the victim that can be devastating. We need to have more open and honest conversations about the reality of sexual violence so that no survivor feels unable to speak out if they wish to do so.
“No matter how long ago abuse or sexual violence happened, our helpline is there for people who have been affected by sexual violence, whenever they’re ready to talk."
The helpline is open 5pm until midnight on 08088 010302 ever evening. Support is also available over text, email and webchat.
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